


blahh

by sburb_player



Category: blah - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-27
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-02 19:45:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1060852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sburb_player/pseuds/sburb_player





	blahh

Ma is crying again because Harry left a few days ago to fight against England. He had been talking none sense about freedom and liberty before he left. Harry and Ma had a lot of fights about that kind of stuff. When Pa was still around they would get into fights as well. Harry went to bed with bruises from Pa pretty often. That has not happened in a while though because Pa went off to help the British. Sometimes we would have to work in the fields with Harry, but the men frown on women working. Now we have no choice seeing as we have no man to work them. We just have to work, pray, and hope for their safe returns. We have to keep living even though life is hard.  
The work is hard. We spend hours upon hours out in the fields, but it seems as though nothing gets done. Our plow horse is weak, and Doctor Paul says he might die soon. I hope not because we wouldn't be able to plow the fields ourselves. The prices of seed is getting higher every day, and people keep trying to buy what we have harvested with worthless paper notes. The man we buy seed from does not accept it. It is as good as nothing. We have sold a lot of our livestock already and have had to cut down when it comes to meals. Ma is saying we might have to sell the farm. I have no idea where we would go if that happens. I fear for our future.   
When we pray, Ma always prays for both Harry and Pa. She keeps telling me that God will be kind to us; that he'll give them back. I actually doubt that. I will not say it and go against Ma though, so we keep praying for them. Some days we are too busy tending the fields and animals to pray. The next day Ma will apologize and apologize over and over again. She keeps telling The Lord it was necessary. Ma tells him we would lose our farm if we didn't. It's even worse when we have to work on Sundays. She says he understands that we have to do the work, but I don't think he does. I do not think he is even there. Everyone says God loves us all so much, but then why is there a war that is tearing my family apart? Why are Pa and Harry not here with us? Why do we have to work the fields alone? Why is our farm going to be stolen from us? Why do we have to live in fear?  
Ma says we have to have hope even when she has none herself. She cries almost all night long. If she had hope for their return, she wouldn't be mourning over them. Ma wouldn't sob as though both Pa and Harry were deceased. It is scary to see an adult so upset. I feel like I have to help her, like I have to be strong for her when in all actuality I suppose I am extremely more upset. I want to leave the farm. I do not care if it is Pa's farm. It is too much worry and work for us. Ma needs to remarry, but I know she will not. She loves Pa too much. Even though it would be in our best interest, she would not and will not do that. I guess it could be because she has a bit of hope. She might think that Pa will return, and she does not want to be with another man when that happens. Or maybe it is because she thinks it is against God. Or it could just be she does not want to feel for another man. Either way it is still bringing us down.  
It makes me nervous when she says 'At least I have you' and 'My little girl won't run off to the war, will she?'. Sometimes I want to see what the war is like. I want to see where Pa and Harry went off to die. I want to know what caused them not to come back, but for now I have to stay here. Home is the best place for me at the moment., at least I think. Life is challenging here, and sometimes I feel like it would be easier to be a solider. Ladies can not fight though. Even if I could be a soldier, I could not run off to the war. I have more sense than to leave Ma all alone, so I will just continue to pray, and hope. I will just keep working day after day. I am afraid, but I will not let her know that. She has a gigantic hole in her heart, and I feel it's my duty to fix it. I promise that I'm trying to mend it in the best way I can.


End file.
